Julie & Julia, and how much I hate Julie

Ever since people found out about my decision to go to culinary school I have heard many of the same comments. "Oh you're going to be like that Rachel Ray person!" "So you want to be on that hell show with that guy in the kitchen?" or "Ah yes, many people were inspired by 'Julie & Julia'."

There are many problems with the conclusions people come to. Just because I enjoy cooking does not mean I want anything to do with any specific celebrity, or that I was inspired by any specific TV show or movie. Why don't you just ask me what inspired this decision? It's simple, I enjoy cooking and I wanted a career doing something I enjoy, so I decided to try my hand at being a chef. I just happen to also really like Bobby Flay, Giada De Laurentiis, and Nigella Lawson.

The major complaint is with 'Julie & Julia.' I finally saw it. Just finished watching it not 20 minutes ago. Everyone told me I would like it, or has assumed I was inspired by it, so I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. It is an entertaining concept. It was annoying that everyone in the world assumed that I had already seen it just because it's about cooking, and that it inspired me to go to culinary school. No people, I am not a sheep. I made the decision a while ago, it just took me a while to get started.

The thing is, the main character, Julie, annoyed the crap out of me. Not Julia Child, I love her, but Julie. She sucks. Regardless of what people may think about cooking enthusiasts, we do not instantly love everyone else who shares this same interest. I'm sure many people dislike me. I am somewhat off-putting and bitchy. But really? Julie? She just plain sucks! Let's examine, shall we?

Before I really get going, let me start with the fact that she had never eaten an egg. I know, I know, we're suppose to think "How interesting and zany she is!" instead of "What a crazy loser! What the hell is her problem?" I can't help the way I think. Can you guess which one was my initial thought? Now let's get started for real:

Her life is miserable and she hangs out with people she hates but claims are still her friends and orders food she doesn't want in order to fit in with said hated non-friends. She is wildly unsuccessful, but the way the restaurant scene is filmed it is clear that we are suppose to sympathize with her and think her successful friends are vapid and selfish. I attribute this attempt to the economic shit-show that's going on that makes it necessary to make wealthy rich people who work hard look like the bad guys. And the article her friend published with her in it? Is the journalist suppose to be evil too because she interviewed someone and wrote the truth to bring out the point of her story? That's what journalists do! Trust me! I know many journalists, and I used to be a journalism major. Get over it, it happened. Maybe she should have asked more questions about the article before agreeing to be in it.

She is clearly bad at her job and hates it. It seems as though throughout the course of the day all she does is let people down because she has no power to do anything at all. If she manages to even remotely assist one person she feels as though the day was a success. And we're led to believe that her job is stressful because she's suppose to be a kind and caring person who wants only the power to help people...and yet does nothing. She just puts people on hold unless it's someone she knows and will then chat with them for a bit. Because, you know, a food blog is way more important than helping people who are suffering. It's all ok though, because there was that one scene where she gave her boss a weak, kittenish glare until he gave her the name of someone else who won't want to help. If she really wanted to help people then there are plenty of other non-profit places she could work at besides a shitty call-center.

Her cooking ethic is atrocious. I fail to see how one can fall asleep while cooking a potentially life-changing dinner in the oven for the most important person they will, to that date, meet. It only cooks for two and a half hours. That isn't that long at all. Why would you even need to make that the day before? And how could you possibly not stay awake? Oh of course, it's because she made the wise decision to pass the time by sitting in a silent, dark room while curled up on the couch with a blanket. Yea, no chance of falling asleep there. How can this possibly be fixed? Duh! Have a freak-out, skip work while pretending to be sick, sit around all day, and then finally getting around to remaking it. Because god forbid you just ask to leave work early. But no, this needed to happen so we can have the scene with the boss reprimanding her as she ignores him and walks out of the office while he's still talking. Her life is really hard, you know? And clearly her boss just doesn't understand and is therefore the bad guy trying to prevent any chance of her achieving happiness.

I won't even touch on the scene where she is stuffing a chicken and it slips on the floor and she precedes to throw it on the counter blindly, roll around on the raw chicken covered floor while crying like a small child, and then answering the phone with her salmonella coated grubby hands. Nope, I won't say a thing about it!

Then, after all of this and my wondering if I'm the only one who finds everything about this woman obnoxious, there's the scene where some person tells her that they heard that Julia Child doesn't like little Julie. Of course her husband insists that Julia is crazy, and the pretend Julia to whom Julie talks to is definitely cooler and way more chill. Clearly that's the problem in this situation. Julia Child is now the bad guy. Fake Julia is waaaay better because real Julia is only setting out to cause Julie crazy angst.

So after all that, I learn that I just watched a movie about Julia Child and some random chick, who Julia didn't even like the idea of? A movie that Julia Child would probably have been against being produced? A movie that was shamelessly profiting off the death of Julia Child during the rise of food culture in America? A movie that epically sucked?

I think what frustrates me the most is that the idea that she came up with, cooking all of the recipes within a year, is actually really interesting. Also the actresses both did such an amazing job, which makes it hard for me to hate this. The acting was excellent, as well as the lighting, mise en scene, and scene changes; it was all excellent. And yet Julie is so very obnoxious that it totally ruined the whole movie for me.

I will give some props to her. I respect what she did, even if I don't respect her as a person. Some of those recipes do seem hard, and many include things I have never heard of or would have no idea where to even buy them. I do own the book, and I have looked through it. I haven't made anything yet since I was a little intimidated (and I've only had the book for a couple months!), but if nothing else this movie has actually inspired me. If that insipid wuss can make these recipes, then surely I can too.

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Orientation

I am 24 years old. I have a Bachelors Degree. And I am going back to school for a 1 year Associates Degree program. And yes, they did make me attend freshman orientation.

It was simply awful. The first day consisted entirely of touring the campus that I don't have any classes on, learning how to live with roommates, being away from home for the first time, alcohol awareness, life on campus, and icebreakers.

In order to get to the school I had to wake up at 5am, and leave at 6am. So keep in mind that I was entirely way too cranky the whole first day.

First, let's start with the tours. At my school there are two campuses. One for academics and one for the culinary classes. I do not have to take academics due to transfer credits, and therefore that campus has no true relevance to me. So that was boring. Also, it was hot as hell out, and there was no shade to be found. They had us walking around, very slowly and moving as a pack, for what felt like hours. We even had to eat outside on the pavement with the scorching sun. They made us go inside to get sandwiches, and then leave the VACANT and air conditioned building to sit and suffer. I, of course, did the responsible thing, and ate my sandwich in the air conditioned bathroom. I'm just so very classy.

Next, let's move on to the icebreakers. Any one who has ever had to experience an icebreaker knows just how miserable they are. I'm going to go ahead an assume that the Orientation Leaders are pure evil. The first one involved standing around in a circle. One person would be in the middle, spin with their eyes closed, stop and point to someone and say "bang." The person who was just shot would have to crouch down, and the two people next to them would have to face each other, make guns with their hands, and pretend shoot while repeatedly saying "bang bang bang bang," until someone stopped to breathe. The loser would then go into the middle, be the spinner, and then leave the circle and sit down for the rest of the game. The name of this icebreaker was creatively "Bang Bang." It was awful. When it was my turn to shoot someone, I quickly lost so I could sit out. It was worth it.

Another one was to help us learn each others names. We would say our name, then a type of food. The next person would have to repeat it, and add their own, and it would continue on. Luckily, I was second so I didn't have to pretend to care too much. For my food, I selected falafel. Unfortunately no one knew what the hell a falafel is. Mind you, this is a culinary school. Even the Orientation leaders didn't know! I was visibly annoyed throughout the rest of the icebreaker as everyone else selected safe foods like "apple" and "hamburger."

There were more, but I'm too annoyed now to type them. Maybe I'll add them later. But you pretty much get the idea of how my first day of orientation went. My head was pounding by the end, and I had to take out my contacts in order to drive to my cousins. Thank god they didn't make me stay on campus and attend the activity night. I may have snapped.

Day 2 was actually very useful. Too bad all of the info was horrendously condensed and there was no time to ask questions because by the time one session had ended, another had already been going on for 2 minutes. But they had a session just for commuters while another session of dorm life was going on, and I got the important info on parking passes and such. It really made no sense to me that the useful info day was so short (we were done by 12) while the useless day was so long that it was necessary to fill in all the blanks with endless icebreakers (I was there til 5:30, and it continued after I left).

Well I guess it would make sense if I were a freshman, even though I remember hating my orientation when I went to Northeastern. But they really should have allowed me to skip the first day and only attend the second, like I asked when I called them, instead of wasting my time and making me grumpy.

On the plus side, I got to see Jenna's apartment and it's wicked nice, even if her cat does seem to enjoy watching me go to the bathroom. Cats are just creepy.

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